Oh boy what a day. 7pm at work and I was still typing my referrals.
I felt good today though. A patient of mine came in this afternoon to see me, I've only seen her twice before. Poor woman unfortunately losing her hearing for the past few years following mini strokes and infections after another. It got her so down that she was so depressed, but has always put a brave face on especially with her family. She felt the medical professionals have brushed her off all these many years. I guess you don't realised how awful it would be when one of your 5 senses taken away from you.
She did struck me as depressed initially, you know one of those heart sinking patient, you thought whatever you say she will not take it in. But the two times I saw her, as much as I could not offer her miracles to cure her problems, all I could offer was time to listen. She made me run 20 mins late the first time, and 50 mins late on the second encounter.
However, she came back today with the first smile I've ever seen, infact many of it throughout the consultation. She told me that on the day she saw me for the first time, she was already contemplating to 'end it all', infact with details of ways to do it without 'leaving a mess behind' for her beloved family. She walked into my surgery, in her own words 'as a last try to seek some hope'. She thanked me profusely for the time I gave her, that she felt she's finally listened to. The 2nd consultation made her realised, that the heavy baggage she carried with her which pulled her down so much all these while, in fact was just little things in accummulation. And as she picks these things out of 'the bag' bit by bit, they were not as intimidating as she thought they might be.
We had 30mins chat today (this time I got her to book in a triple appointment). At the end of it, she gave me a good hug, and told me I have saved her life.
And I did not do anything heroic at all, just listened. It felt worth every second of it.
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